Now what?

Since parting ways with my former agent last October, I have slowly allowed myself to widen the scope and perspective I have on writing and publishing. Over the course of the last 10 months, I've written several blog posts, a book review, articles, papers for school, and published a novel on SwoonReads.

Newest Novel!

As I begin the college application/essay season (my 13th as a college counselor/essay coach) and listen to countless stories of overcoming failure, I can't help but think of my own failures over the last five years (documented, here, on this blog).

Students who write about failure generally talk about what they learned or how a failure changed and affected them. They don't psychoanalyze themselves or their failures, and they don't try to figure out the why or even the how.

When I've written about failure over the last few years, I spent a lot of time on the why and how and not so much on the now what. When my students write about failure, they talk about the now what.

Finally, I am, too.

Now what?

My failures in publishing have caused me a lot of emotional pain and suffering because I had the mistaken belief that because I was doing all the right things, failure was impossible...So, when failure happened, I blamed myself—when, in fact, failing in publishing is a lot like failing to win the lottery.

No one controls the lottery.

I cannot control agents or publishers. I can only control myself and what I write.

So, now I have a new goal.

One reader.

That's it. Not how many books I've sold or how many comments I get or how much money I make (ha!). And, most importantly, not how many publishers I've submitted to (and been rejected by). My writing goals are to write what I want, make it the best I can, and then reach ONE reader who reads my work, whether it's a book or a blog post. From this post forward, I aim to reach one person with each piece I write, and I don't necessarily even need to know who that person is or even have evidence that they have read this, meaning comments or feedback through an email, etc.

I am going on faith. On hope.

So, dear reader, I believe that if you are reading this, you have been touched in some way, and I hope that you will come back for more (and maybe leave a comment ;)

I also hope that you are still reading this post because I would like for you to read my novel Till It Stops Beating on SwoonReads.com. Click here.

Thank you, Reader, whoever and wherever you are.

Why Write?

Why Write?

I write to express.
I write to understand.
I write to see.
I write to hear.
I write to know.
I write to grow.
I write to create.
I write to get closer.
I write to be better.
I write to inspire. 
I write to witness.

I’m writing because it feels right. I’m writing because other forms of expression don’t capture my intentions. I write because it’s less impulsive than when I speak. I'm bound to piss off less people with writing than speaking– I can slow down, I can think when I write. I write because I can’t draw or paint. I can’t sing or play an instrument. I write because I teach and I tell stories and writing is the best mode for both. I write because it’s easier to do so than anything else. I write because I like it, I love it, and I can’t get enough of it. I write because it’s the one thing I don’t get sick of, because it promises the most possibility. I write because it’s holy and sacred but absurd and ludicrous. I write because it makes me feel complete and whole and fragmented all at the same time. I write because it heals and teaches and helps. I write because most of the time I don’t know what else to do.

*I just wrote this with my students at my writing workshop "Writing Through The Block". To register for upcoming workshops or to learn more please go to Hannah's classes.